Stupid questions will get you hurt

One of my favourite things about being pregnant is ignorant people and their comments. I abhore stupid people at the best of times, but being around preggers seems to bring out a whole new epidemic of stupidity in the populace that I find incredibly tiresome. With that, I bring you Sam's top three stupid comments that idiots say to pregnant women:

1) ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT HAVING TWINS?/ARE YOU SURE THAT'S YOUR DUE DATE?

And are you sure your shoes got on your correct feet this morning, moron? After two or three ultrasounds, I sure as f*ck hope I know if I'm having twins or not, but thanks for insinuating that I am either really, really big or not paying attention at all when it comes to growing a baby (or babies). I'm also sure that paranoid mommies-to-be appreciate one more thing to incessantly agonize over till their next OB/GYN visit. For real people, THINK! Pregnant woman are hormonal and already feeling like whales - say this to the wrong woman and I'd suggest sleeping with one eye open. Russian roulette, my friends.

2) ARE YOU PREGNANT?

Ok, this question should simply never be asked. I'll tell you why. If someone is pregnant, and they want you to know, THEY WILL TELL YOU. Otherwise, you are running the same risks as you would with the question above. I mean, you may as well just say to a woman, "Hey, you are looking pretty fat. Fat enough I'm assuming you're pregnant!". I'll keep this short - just don't EVER EVER ask anyone this question. There, I've saved all the stupid people that will listen.

3) YOU SURE ARE LOOKING BIG/PREGNANT!

Again, if I haven't made my point clear enough, for Jebus's sake don't talk about a pregnant woman's weight!!! It's the one time in their lives when they should have COMPLETE immunity from weight-related criticism. Babies are being born seriously underweight and malnourished because young girls are DIETING when they are pregnant or smoking to keep their weight down. Shocked? You should be! But keep in mind it's not all the media's fault; it's also brilliant people who make careless comments like these and don't think. Women gain weight when they have babies. There are human beings growing in the general vicinity of their stomachs. They may gain weight other places too in order to accomodate the birthing process. Let these ladies do their job people- it's tough enough without ignorants making them cry from saying stupid crap.

I hope this message has hit home like an ABC After-School Special, folks. PLEASE think before making size or weight-comments around The Preggers. And save your thanks for me, even though I may have personally just saved you from being viciously attacked by a super-hormonal woman.