Stupid questions will get you hurt

One of my favourite things about being pregnant is ignorant people and their comments. I abhore stupid people at the best of times, but being around preggers seems to bring out a whole new epidemic of stupidity in the populace that I find incredibly tiresome. With that, I bring you Sam's top three stupid comments that idiots say to pregnant women:

1) ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT HAVING TWINS?/ARE YOU SURE THAT'S YOUR DUE DATE?

And are you sure your shoes got on your correct feet this morning, moron? After two or three ultrasounds, I sure as f*ck hope I know if I'm having twins or not, but thanks for insinuating that I am either really, really big or not paying attention at all when it comes to growing a baby (or babies). I'm also sure that paranoid mommies-to-be appreciate one more thing to incessantly agonize over till their next OB/GYN visit. For real people, THINK! Pregnant woman are hormonal and already feeling like whales - say this to the wrong woman and I'd suggest sleeping with one eye open. Russian roulette, my friends.

2) ARE YOU PREGNANT?

Ok, this question should simply never be asked. I'll tell you why. If someone is pregnant, and they want you to know, THEY WILL TELL YOU. Otherwise, you are running the same risks as you would with the question above. I mean, you may as well just say to a woman, "Hey, you are looking pretty fat. Fat enough I'm assuming you're pregnant!". I'll keep this short - just don't EVER EVER ask anyone this question. There, I've saved all the stupid people that will listen.

3) YOU SURE ARE LOOKING BIG/PREGNANT!

Again, if I haven't made my point clear enough, for Jebus's sake don't talk about a pregnant woman's weight!!! It's the one time in their lives when they should have COMPLETE immunity from weight-related criticism. Babies are being born seriously underweight and malnourished because young girls are DIETING when they are pregnant or smoking to keep their weight down. Shocked? You should be! But keep in mind it's not all the media's fault; it's also brilliant people who make careless comments like these and don't think. Women gain weight when they have babies. There are human beings growing in the general vicinity of their stomachs. They may gain weight other places too in order to accomodate the birthing process. Let these ladies do their job people- it's tough enough without ignorants making them cry from saying stupid crap.

I hope this message has hit home like an ABC After-School Special, folks. PLEASE think before making size or weight-comments around The Preggers. And save your thanks for me, even though I may have personally just saved you from being viciously attacked by a super-hormonal woman.

Only three months to go now

Today I hit the 27 week mark and I am now in my third trimester. Yipee! According to babycentre.ca , I can look forward to more backache, leg cramps, heartburn and shortness of breath; awesome!

Ok, that's enough exclamation points for one post. Apparently I am going to "gain weight rapidly for the next couple weeks" too. What I am wondering at this point is, how the hell am I supposed to walk with all this extra weight? I've already gained 35-40 lbs (35 lbs as of my last check up - one month ago), so how much more am I going to gain, and how is my relatively small frame going to deal? To be quite honest, I'm not sure I want the answers to these questions. Dad, I may soon need loan of your "stay clear, I am maneuvering with difficulty" boat flag sweatshirt. Lord knows the ridership of the TTC needs a clue- how much more pregnant do I have to be until someone offers me their seat?

Enough of the griping though. Mommies who know tell me to try and enjoy being pregnant as I apparently will miss it when Junior arrives (mostly the peace and quiet I understand). I can see their point...I love the little kicks and stomach-reshaping turning the little guy does; it's pretty cool. In any case, the big day will be here before I know it, and all I will have to remember "the good old days" will be these posts :)

With that, I am off to inhale my celebratory chocolate chip muffin (damn Rabba hasn't had Chocolate Croissants in days- don't they know the baby NEEDS those to survive? Communists.)

The Yogurt is gonna get you...

...unless you are superbaby Blaney! I saw the babe himself through the majik ultrasound machine this morning, and he is a-ok, despite the vicious attempted daily-licious assault on Sunday. Here he is, and if you can figure out what part of these pictures is his face, you are as awesome as he is. Check his super-big Blaney lips.

Yogurt: perhaps the most dangerous dairy product

I bet you thought dairy products were mostly good for you, didn't you? WRONG. Not if they are spilled over a grocery isle floor and walked away from without a thought by some careless idiot.

Yesterday I was shopping and, not thinking to look down, totally slipped on some yogurt that was all over the centre of the snack isle. It was scary. Despite the fact I fell on my tush, it was frightening to think what might have happened to baby had I hit it another way or not "known" how to fall from all my practice in the past (gymnastics, the Bobcaygeon Lock, the snowboarding incident of 2001 at Blue Mountain). And in this case, ignorance was not bliss; i wondered if there was a way I had inadvertently hurt the wee guy by falling on my tailbone.

An ambulance was called (a bit dramatic, but neccesary I suppose), the store managers were understandably concerned (in an accident report somewhere is a picture of spilled yogurt), and a lady who had witnessed the whole thing was kind enough to stay with me throughout the situation. From the outside, the whole thing seemed a bit ridiculous, as any serious situation involving yogurt would, but at the time it just really sucked. Rory was out of town and I didn't want to scare him, or drive him mental with worry about something he couldn't help with since he was so far away. The paramedics examined me, and offered to take me to the hospital, but four hours alone in the emergency room (esp on those couches) didn't seem very appealing. But I wasn't sure if I SHOULD go. So I called the only people I thought who might know- Nick and MB.

Nick, being the super awesome person he totally is, offered to come and get me, meet me at the hospital, or anything else I needed. In the end, he swung by my house to unload my groceries (which had been carefully loaded into my car by the store manager). I can't thank him enough for his assistance. Perhaps I'll try by bringing him some cookies.

Anyhoo...in the end all I ended up with is a super uncomfortable back, which I took to the doctor today to find out is just a pulled muscle. I'll be having that ultrasound the paramedics initially offered tomorrow morning just to make extra sure every thing's ok. But let this be a lesson to all of you; never underestimate the danger that lurks in yogurt.

What would I do without my pregnant friends?

Not to say that all of my friends haven't been absolutely superb through this whole thing so far. Cause you have, my friends, you have really been fantastic. On the best of days I'm a roller coaster of emotion - so much so even I can't keep up with it - and everyone has been truly understanding. Special props goes to my hubby, who I'm told bites his tongue. A lot. Love you sweetheart.

But I digress, as I often do.

One of my buddies in particular has been my rock through the past few months, eating, commiserating, and b*tching with me each work day. Yes, for those of you who know her, Clicky (aka Cheryl Clarke), has been a godsend. Unfortunately for me, (and fortunately for her, as I'm sure she would think) she is now on her maternity leave and will soon leave me behind in the land of those who don't yet know the joy of labour and birth. But I did want to say thanks to her for all the laughs and listening to my incessant moaning about this, that and whatever these past months. It was priceless as well to have someone brave their way through the months ahead and report back to me on what I had to look forward to, with a sense of humour that is uniquely hers. I wish her the best of luck in these last few days (she's due one week today!) and I really can't wait to meet the lucky girl who gets to be her daughter. Miss you, Le Clik.

Then there is my good pal Shawn, who had the decency to also brave the path for me by getting preggers ahead of me by a whole three weeks. She hasn't had the amazing luck I have with her health through the whole thing, but she never loses her Mary Sunshine attitude, and never ever fails to ask how I'm doing, God love her. The girl is so hardcore she was still doing I think five days (or some equally insane amount) of Tai Kwon Do training a week. I still think the doctor must have had to pay her to make her stop. Even now, he or she has dared to suggest she stay at home and rest, but she is having none of it. Not to say for a minute that she is putting her baby in any danger- she would never dream of it - it's just that she is such a determined, smart, young go-getter that she wouldn't want to think of herself as an old-fashioned delicate sunflower who could do nothing but rest, whilst fanning herself and sighing. She is a strong woman, hear her roar, and all that jazz. Much respect to you my Shawn, your wee Turpin is going to be something else, that's all I know.

Then there is my homegirl Sue. We go all the way back to Grade 2, and have been through about a million and a half hilarious situations, been in some kind of weird fight neither of us can remember the cause of, and somehow come to the present. She had the decency to move back to the western hemisphere recently after some time in New Zealand and I couldn't have been more pleased. It's given us a chance to renew our friendship, occasionally meet up at our respective cottages (which are 20 mins apart) and remember why we've been such good friends all these years. Unfortunately we haven't had the opportunity to spend loads of time together through our pregnancies, but she did throw a kick-@ss coed baby shower one afternoon, and it was great to see her all glowy and enjoying her pregnancy. Her emails and laments over her lack of belly have made me smile (and find another reason to be happy I am short). She is another Little Miss Hardcore and is planning on going on a canoe trip in a couple of weeks, despite the fact she is due September 23. Also, her sense of adventure made her decide against taking childbirth preparation classes (which inspired Rory and I to do the same and go the "watch a video" route). I know no matter what, she is going to be a force to be reckoned with in that delivery room. I hope the nurses are ready for the superpower that is Susan Crysler. For that matter, I hope her future son is ready! He's a very lucky soon-to-be boy indeed. I've been glad of my encounters with Sue during pregnancy as she's made me think twice about some things I wouldn't have otherwise questioned.

I also want to give a shout out to my sisters in solidarity at work here - Simrat and Heather. Simrat works in my unit and is a total cutie. She's having her second little one, so I figure she might know a little bit about this and that. We share snacks sometimes and just have some good laughs about everything. It's nice to have her so close by. Heather just fell pregnant with twins and we touch base once in a while to talk all things annoying and medical. They actually switched her last ultrasound results up with some woman who was only having one baby. So if this had been Heather's first ultrasound, it could have been much worse (she already knew it must be wrong, since she had previous proof there were two). But that poor other woman. Needless to say, an investigation is pending. Never a dull moment here at the old MacDonald Block!

What I am trying to say in this seeming endless post is that, there is something so comforting about having some friends go through the same wonderful, but really confusing journey with you. All of this is uncharted territory for most of my friends, and it really helps to have someone to talk to, even if it's just to check that you are still sane. Much, much love to my preggo girls. You are all truly unique ladies, and have each taught me something very important about what it means to be a mom, even though none of us are quite there yet.

New Niece

I am so excited to have just seen the first pics of Rory and I's new niece. Rory's sister Claire had this little girl just this week (see picture to the left) and she is adorable already.

Looks like we will have to wait a little bit to meet her though, as I thoughtlessly scheduled my own pregnancy for this fall instead of this summer. I suck. We likely won't get over there till next February.

But when we do, I am staying behind when Rory comes back here, and bunking with the Nixons for a bit. I have many grand plans for Claire and I toting the babies around with big sister/cousin Farrah.

In any case, just thought it deserved a mention- well done, Claire! And congrats to the whole Nixon Family.

Directions to Baby Shower on Sept 23

IMPORTANT- I put the wrong address on the invites. It is 18 Beverly, not 15 Beverly. Also, once you enter the building, please give your name to the concierge. They will be happy to point you in the direction of the party room.

To find through mapquest:

Map of 18 Beverley Street Toronto, ON M5T, CA

DRIVING from Hamilton/Burlington/Oakville area:

- Take QEW Toronto to Gardiner Expressway
- Take the Spadina exit
- Turn left onto Spadina (away from Lake)
- Turn right onto Queen Street West
- Turn left onto Beverly
- End at 18 Beverly (on your left)

PARKING is available on the street (metered) or in local lots.

TTC (from East of University/Yonge):
- Take subway to Queen Street stop on Yonge Line, or Osgood stop on University Line
- Take Queen Streetcar Westbound (or walk)
- If you are passing the Black Bull, you have just gone too far (although you can get off at the stop there and walk back a street)

If you can take the GO Train, it may be easier than trying to find parking. Any other questions, just call me or the Ror at home 647-438-8468.

26 Weeks Today

So, as an update, today I am 26 weeks (or 6 1/2 months). What does this mean?

- the baby is pushing on my lungs so sometimes I find it hard to breathe.
- heartburn is my constant companion
- 30 degrees celcius feels like 200 degrees & the humidity makes me want to fall over
- I have to nap every day again
- moving around is awkward and insane with this bowling ball on my stomach
- in two weeks I will be entering the dreaded third trimester

On the upside:

- food still tastes awesome (even though it makes heartburn)
- i can sit with my feet up without anyone calling me lazy
- no one can call me fat (although I have one male coworker who likes to point out "I sure am getting big" on a daily basis)
- I get to sleep with the snoogle
- I can't paint

So as you can see, there is an upside to being pregnant. Sort of. I miss my preggo partner in crime Clicky. She understood. But now she's on mat leave. Sniff.

Happy Wednesday y'all!

SAMMY

Baby Shower Time -mark your calendars

Hi All,

In the tradition of always insisting on doing things just that little bit different, we will be having a co-ed afternoon cocktail baby shower here in Toronto (just off the heart of Queen Street West) on Sunday, September 23.

I've heard enough random horror stories about pregnancy and birth from various women to last me a while, so the thought of a traditional shower with all women, each one wanting to share a more horrific tale than the last, just did not appeal to me. Besides, i have lots of terrific male friends who I would:

a) not want to be left out of a party
b) not wish to subject to an afternoon of discussions about "girl parts"
c) not rope into playing those "fun" shower games

So all of that has been tossed aside (phooey to tradition I say) and instead we can all look forward to an afternoon of good food (me mum is catering the party), booze (for you lucky un-pregnant people), and laughs. Warning, there may be balloons, but don't let that throw you off.

Invites should be going out in the snail mail next week. Hope to see as many of you there as possible!

xo SAMMY

Registry Information

Here is the detailed registry information:

Babies R Us:
Registry can be accessed online at - www.babiesrus.ca - or in any Babies R Us Store.
Registered under Samantha Blaney.

Baby on the Hip:
Located in Toronto at 969 Queen Street East, Toronto, Ontario, M4M 1K2
Phone: 416-465-4141
Fax: 416-465-1951
email: info@babyonthehip.ca

The store can arrange for items to be shipped directly to us.
The following items are available from the store.
1) Phil and Ted's Stroller in Navy (for more info www.philandteds.com)
2) Phil and Ted's hangbag in Gray (same site as above)
3) Phil and Ted's Storm Cover Accessory (same site as above)
4) Phil and Ted's UV Cover Accessory (same site as above)
5) Phil and Ted's Cocoon in Gray (same site as above)
6) Hooter Hider (mod or chocolate) (for more info http://www.bebeaulait.com/)
7) 3 pack Gr8X Swaddle Blankets
8) Little Twig Skincare Products (is other store's site but has info on Little Twig http://www.pincinella.com/LittleTwig.html)
9) Fitted sheet in organic cotton in natural
10) Bamboosa fitted sheet in blue, green and/or natural
11) Organic Cotton Sleep Sack
12) 3-5 Soothers
13) Seventh Generation Travel Wipes
14) Organic Washcloth packs
15) Bornfree bottle twin packs (3-5) (for more info www.newbornfree.com/)
16) Bornfree gift set (2) (same as above)
17) Bornfree Level 2 nipples (same as above)
18) Bornfree Level 3 nipples (same as above)
19) Bornfree twister brush (same as above)
20) Blender Baby Food book (same as above)