Slackin' the rest of my pregnancy away

Well Kids,

I made it to 37 weeks (that's full term for you non-breeding folk). Well ok, I made it, as of TOMORROW. But still.

Today is my last day at work and everyone is telling me I will forget about all my numerous aches and pains after I have the baby. So, just to prove them wrong and let them know NO ONE tells ME what to do, I am making the following wish list of pregnancy symptoms that can go away any time now.

1) The bleedin' carpel tunnel business
Seriously, if you are wondering why your thank you card from the shower is late, I blame the CT. It feels like constant pins and needles in my fingertips and cramping in my hands. Typing and writing are a pain, but I am tough and suffer through for my cause of my blog. Seriously though, it's like I have lobster claws instead of hands. Sucks.

2) The freakin' heartburn/nausea
Bless that Dr. Biswas for prescribing the Zantac otherwise it would be way worse, but it really only takes the edge off. If I ever come into money, I am investing in TUMS and re-branding a new pregnant woman division for them- even if it only means making larger size bottles for preggos. For reals they must make as much money as the scum-sucking pantyhose industry of us preggers.

3) TMJ
Don't totally know what it means, but it refers to some jaw joint. I'd look it up, but it's just too much work (like everything else right now). Basically it means searing ear pain combined with jaw pain when you over use or over extend your jaw. Ha ha... I can hear all of the "Sam talks too much" jokes now. Don't bother, I've pre-empted all of you by already thinking of all the possibilities- I have had a lifetime of the affliction of the overly talkative and you can't tell a sam talks too much joke that I have not heard before. But I digress. TMJ is not constant, but still really sucks- I can't sleep on my left side when I get it, which leaves me with only one sleeping option. With that perfect segway, I move on to wish #4...

4) Sleep
I'm not even going to go into this, because I'm told I won't have any for the next 20 years. Up till now, I could have slept for Canada if it was an Olympic event. Goodbye, sweet, dreamy, slumbery lover. I shall miss you most of all.

5) Rising and walking
I would like to get up and not feel like the baba is going to fall out of my stomach. I would like to be able to walk more than 3 feet without losing my breath. That is all.

Ok, well that's enough rant for now. I'm off to the doctors to find out if my baby is a future linebacker and too big for anything but a c-section. We shall see...stay tuned!